Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Paak the caah in the backyaaad
So I have a super crush on a sort of coworker- and its totally innocent/inappropriate. He's 16 years older than me (but has the mentality of a 25 year old, but the maturity age-appropriate), and he's a contractor for my job. But he always lights up my day with his adorable accent, sarcasm, and on-point witty charm. Is it bad to have wildly inappropriate daydreams about him at work? We've both shown interest in each other, and I'm just waiting for him to make some sort of move. We enjoy each others' company, have had lunch together a few times, even made sexually-driven comments about 'naughty things' we'd do to each other (this is always said in jest, we do work for a government agency, we're not that bad). I have no intentions of anything serious, as I don't think he does either. But we have fun together- so whats the hold up? I want to hang out outside of work for once! See each other in civies, not badges and ties!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Bad Boys Bad Boys
Seems the area has been overtaken by the presence of LEOs- Law enforcement officers. To this day I meet the same three types of men; Military, Contractor, LEO. Makes sense as I live so close to DC, where many federal government offices need LEOs to protect their valuable employees. My agency included. As such, many of the men I have met on and offline have been cops. Even the ex was a mix of both cop and military! After the millionth boy I met listed cop as their job title, I decided it must be written on my forehead; military and law enforcement please apply. But since I cant generalize the entire population of military as angry meat heads, and all cops jerks, I must give everyone a chance.
The first was a job cop, T Needy, I met at an overtime weekend work function. He recently had moved to the area and wanted to meet new people and see what there was to do. He wasn't typically my type; a little scrawny, my age (I typically go for somewhat older men), but nonetheless fun and had a cute smile. We hung out a couple of times with our friends, and even made minor plans to go on the silly-looking segways to tour dc! Unknown to me, he had taken a particular Sunday off to do this event, and asked the night before if I wanted to hang out. I wasn't in a particular good people-mood, so I said I was staying in. The next day I didn't hear from him at all, but the following day at work I got a call on my office phone from him. He inquired about the plans for segwaying, (of which we never finalized), and seemed extremely miffed he took a day off work to hang out but I bailed. I retorted that he never called to see if I still wanted to go and mentioned the non-finalized segway plans. He then continues the already tense conversation by asking where this relationship was going, and if I was just playing with him. Please note, we had met only three weeks prior. He called my office phone to ask me this.
On a Monday.
At 10:30am.
Really?
I asked him- really? You called my office phone to ask this? I told him that I was at work and would call him later. He sent a text to my cell apologizing, but he had a weird feeling and wanted to know the deal. Seriously, I cant handle needy- especially after three weeks!
The next guy, MP Dubb, I met was from online- DEA agent. We had great text, email, and phone conversation. But when the time came to meet in person (a lunch in DC), he had some less-than-attractive mannerisms that reminded me of a former coworker that had some eccentric gay man tendencies*. Plus no chemistry. So that ended before it started, and I learned that no matter the awesome conversation, and no matter how much you have in common, without chemistry there can be no successful relationship.
One weekend while feeling the need to get out there and shake my booty, I texted everyone in my address book to see who may be interested in doing the same. One guy responded-the best friend/roommate of T Needy. As we had hung out before, and knew we had fun, I thought it would be a great night out. We ended up dancing the night away, getting a little more tipsy than normal, and back at my place. Needless to say the night ended with a bang! The next day I felt both excited and guilty for doing the roommate switcheroo. But I figured what happened happened, and I don't like to regret what felt like a good thing at the time. Plus, I have the requisite one night stand in my book.
*No offense to the gay population. I heart you guys :-)
The first was a job cop, T Needy, I met at an overtime weekend work function. He recently had moved to the area and wanted to meet new people and see what there was to do. He wasn't typically my type; a little scrawny, my age (I typically go for somewhat older men), but nonetheless fun and had a cute smile. We hung out a couple of times with our friends, and even made minor plans to go on the silly-looking segways to tour dc! Unknown to me, he had taken a particular Sunday off to do this event, and asked the night before if I wanted to hang out. I wasn't in a particular good people-mood, so I said I was staying in. The next day I didn't hear from him at all, but the following day at work I got a call on my office phone from him. He inquired about the plans for segwaying, (of which we never finalized), and seemed extremely miffed he took a day off work to hang out but I bailed. I retorted that he never called to see if I still wanted to go and mentioned the non-finalized segway plans. He then continues the already tense conversation by asking where this relationship was going, and if I was just playing with him. Please note, we had met only three weeks prior. He called my office phone to ask me this.
On a Monday.
At 10:30am.
Really?
I asked him- really? You called my office phone to ask this? I told him that I was at work and would call him later. He sent a text to my cell apologizing, but he had a weird feeling and wanted to know the deal. Seriously, I cant handle needy- especially after three weeks!
The next guy, MP Dubb, I met was from online- DEA agent. We had great text, email, and phone conversation. But when the time came to meet in person (a lunch in DC), he had some less-than-attractive mannerisms that reminded me of a former coworker that had some eccentric gay man tendencies*. Plus no chemistry. So that ended before it started, and I learned that no matter the awesome conversation, and no matter how much you have in common, without chemistry there can be no successful relationship.
One weekend while feeling the need to get out there and shake my booty, I texted everyone in my address book to see who may be interested in doing the same. One guy responded-the best friend/roommate of T Needy. As we had hung out before, and knew we had fun, I thought it would be a great night out. We ended up dancing the night away, getting a little more tipsy than normal, and back at my place. Needless to say the night ended with a bang! The next day I felt both excited and guilty for doing the roommate switcheroo. But I figured what happened happened, and I don't like to regret what felt like a good thing at the time. Plus, I have the requisite one night stand in my book.
*No offense to the gay population. I heart you guys :-)
Monday, June 15, 2009
Off-Line Dating
Ok, so now to update you on the past few months of the dating scene offline.
The first I met at a local pub hangout, kind of known for the military/cop scene. Oh, and just side note- for some reason I attract (not request), military and law enforcement men all the time. Regardless of the area or locale, I always seem to meet this type. It must be on my forehead or something-- "Military please apply." Anyway, so the first guy was a late-20-something Marine. Named C. Known as C the Marine. Decent, nice body, some tattoos, deep manly voice and presence. Overall nice guy. We chatted on the phone for a couple weeks after the initial meeting, and he came with me to an after work function, aka happy hour, to celebrate a promotion of a friend. Afterwards, he came over to my place and we hung around watching tv. As I could feel the chemistry was definitely there, I decided to have the sex questions. It goes a little something like this- keep up!! :
N: So, how many times you been in love?
C: Twice. You?
N: Twice. Last relationship- how long, when did it end?
C: 2 years, about a year ago. You?
N:3 years, two months ago. STDs?
C: No. You?
N: No. Ever married?
C: No. You?
N: No. Kids?
C: Yes.
-Pause- I literally stopped dead. Brain shut off, mouth went dry, the chemistry fizzled instantly.
-Resume-
N: Really? You're not joking?
C: No. I have two.
-Pause- Ok, two? Good grief, its called a condom. That's a little too much to handle.
-Resume-
C: With two different moms.
N: Man, is that the time? I have work tomorrow. Lets do this again, huh? Lots of fun!
Now, it wasn't that harsh of an ending. I did the -aww, where do they live? you see them often?- lines, but at my age, I just don't want that kind of extra baggage in my life when I have plenty of my own! We ended the night with what I'm sure he thinks is a passionate kiss. I would say a passionate kiss with a python, knife-like tongue that tried to slice my mouth like carrots for stir fry. C the Marine- what a disappointment. And also the start of a very long (and still to this very day), spell of meeting decent-at-first-men with kids. So time-wasting. No thanks.
The next guy I met through friends of friends/at a bar Halloween party. R the weenie. We hung out a few times, he had a decent job, degree, family guy (no kids), but he was slightly immature when it comes to relationships and the chemistry just wasn't there. He was also a little too clingy. Sending texts and facebook messages a little too often.
The next guy actually lasts today as a on again, off again friend. He, too, is in the Marines. I met him at the same location as C the marine. But this one, R Brooklyn, was my age. Kids? Yup. One, though. And that relationship ended with her cheating on him while he was deployed to war. So my acceptance for kids changes with the circumstances of their conception and the relationship with the mother. He and I have great chemistry, and after my father passed he provided/provides a level of comfort I cant yet describe. I think because he has friends that passes in the similar fashion as my dad, I share a unique connection with him. And he understood me better a few weeks after we started 'dating' than men I had seen for months. We currently have a very tumultuous relationship, from loving hanging out with each other to sending angry text messages about not communicating well. I don't know how this can end well, as I still don't tolerate kids. But the point is I highly enjoy his company, and in my current emotional state he has helped tremendously, less the angry texts.
The first I met at a local pub hangout, kind of known for the military/cop scene. Oh, and just side note- for some reason I attract (not request), military and law enforcement men all the time. Regardless of the area or locale, I always seem to meet this type. It must be on my forehead or something-- "Military please apply." Anyway, so the first guy was a late-20-something Marine. Named C. Known as C the Marine. Decent, nice body, some tattoos, deep manly voice and presence. Overall nice guy. We chatted on the phone for a couple weeks after the initial meeting, and he came with me to an after work function, aka happy hour, to celebrate a promotion of a friend. Afterwards, he came over to my place and we hung around watching tv. As I could feel the chemistry was definitely there, I decided to have the sex questions. It goes a little something like this- keep up!! :
N: So, how many times you been in love?
C: Twice. You?
N: Twice. Last relationship- how long, when did it end?
C: 2 years, about a year ago. You?
N:3 years, two months ago. STDs?
C: No. You?
N: No. Ever married?
C: No. You?
N: No. Kids?
C: Yes.
-Pause- I literally stopped dead. Brain shut off, mouth went dry, the chemistry fizzled instantly.
-Resume-
N: Really? You're not joking?
C: No. I have two.
-Pause- Ok, two? Good grief, its called a condom. That's a little too much to handle.
-Resume-
C: With two different moms.
N: Man, is that the time? I have work tomorrow. Lets do this again, huh? Lots of fun!
Now, it wasn't that harsh of an ending. I did the -aww, where do they live? you see them often?- lines, but at my age, I just don't want that kind of extra baggage in my life when I have plenty of my own! We ended the night with what I'm sure he thinks is a passionate kiss. I would say a passionate kiss with a python, knife-like tongue that tried to slice my mouth like carrots for stir fry. C the Marine- what a disappointment. And also the start of a very long (and still to this very day), spell of meeting decent-at-first-men with kids. So time-wasting. No thanks.
The next guy I met through friends of friends/at a bar Halloween party. R the weenie. We hung out a few times, he had a decent job, degree, family guy (no kids), but he was slightly immature when it comes to relationships and the chemistry just wasn't there. He was also a little too clingy. Sending texts and facebook messages a little too often.
The next guy actually lasts today as a on again, off again friend. He, too, is in the Marines. I met him at the same location as C the marine. But this one, R Brooklyn, was my age. Kids? Yup. One, though. And that relationship ended with her cheating on him while he was deployed to war. So my acceptance for kids changes with the circumstances of their conception and the relationship with the mother. He and I have great chemistry, and after my father passed he provided/provides a level of comfort I cant yet describe. I think because he has friends that passes in the similar fashion as my dad, I share a unique connection with him. And he understood me better a few weeks after we started 'dating' than men I had seen for months. We currently have a very tumultuous relationship, from loving hanging out with each other to sending angry text messages about not communicating well. I don't know how this can end well, as I still don't tolerate kids. But the point is I highly enjoy his company, and in my current emotional state he has helped tremendously, less the angry texts.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Back on Track
Alright, after a brief hiatus, I am back and ready to give you what you want- my dating life in print! Lets start from the beginning...
I dated what seemed like a great guy for over three years, one of those years waiting patiently for him overseas at war. During that time I realized what a controlling, covertly manipulative and angry individual he was (before the war), and it only got worse. We stayed together after his return for about six months, enjoying a fabulous European Cruise, good times with friends, and just catching up. But we both realized that we no longer fit well together, mostly because I could no longer tolerate his manipulation, nor could I continue attempting to change the person I was to suit him to no avail. It was killing me trying to give him what he wanted, and it was never enough to say I was sorry for any little thing that upset him. Among the multitude of reasons why I could no longer be with him, I hated that I let someone change me. I can happily say it was the best decision I ever made. And I have learned so much about what I'm willing to compromise, tolerate, and mostly importantly, what I want and expect out of a relationship.
After any major relationship breakup (this is number 2, first was my first high school love/bad boy, I was crushed, but better for it!), I join a dating website. This time I joined Harm, and needless to say the expense and quality of people on there was disastrous. Now this is by no means a rant on the site, but I don't think it was right for me. I'm young and looking for a steady relationship, I'm not ready to pick out curtains and kids names! I felt most of the men I met were desperate and looking for the end result too soon. I had high hopes that others that could afford the site were similar to me- tired of the bar scene, looking for something real yet not too serious. Was I ever wrong! The first man I went on a date with seemed good- decent profile photos, good job, decent email conversation, though slightly older than I like. In person, lets just say I wish I would have had a friend to call with 'something bad happened/pet died/insert lame excuse here'. My unlisted rules to first impressions with me are 1-must shake hands like I'm the President or your prospective boss, not your dying grandmother, 2-absolutely, under no circumstances, do you hug me-- we've never met! NO bubble invading, and 3-(dinner) no ordering before me unless I say its ok. Call me old fashioned. He failed them all. He ignored my invitation for a handshake and went straight for the awkward hug! He had gap teeth (sorry, but I went through hell in braces to get an amazing smile, I would like my partner to have a decent smile to match!! Shallow? Nope, just proud). After ordering himself when the waitress was looking at me, he then spent the next exhausting and teeth-pulling hour talking about himself..."I'm pretty amazing, I have a great job, I make a lot of money, I have a fabulous car..." pretty much just having a date with himself. He had the nerve to ask for a second date. Mr. Cocky.
The second online guy also seemed decent. Owned his own place, great job, and more my age, adorable dog, and great email and phone banter. Upon in tal meeting I did the awkward hug thing (ahh, I know! I was actually excited about this date, let it go!) and the conversation started off a little strange. But after warming up, and a great dinner at Coastal Flats (thanks, M!), we closed the restaurant. He seemed a little too sarcastic for my taste, as in it was hard for a dry-sarcastic person like me to even catch up or tell if he was serious! I chalked it up to being nervous. He then walked me to my car and gave me a CD he burned with some mutually favorite rock songs! A little weird with someone I have only known a few weeks, but still cute. Nice hug goodbye with intentions for a second movie date. But no calls, no emails, nothing. Mr. Sarcastic.
The third guy I met was exactly my type- my age, great job, military (I have a thing for uniforms!), and muscular with sense of humor and sarcasm (and bald, but hot!). We decided our first meeting would be at our apartments housewarming party. It was a blast! We had instant chemistry and I was really excited! So much so with a little liquid courage we had heavy make out sessions for hours, and he ended up staying the night! No No, nothing happened you pervs. But a few awkward texts later we agreed it was a little too much too fast. He made me feel like that slutty girl who gives it up o the first date. I hate those men! My mom lovingly added "Don't rub the bloom off the rose". You went just as far as I did, you're just as guilty, why do I get the label? Jerk. Mr. Jerk.
That's it for now, but trust me this is just a taste of my dating disasters!
I dated what seemed like a great guy for over three years, one of those years waiting patiently for him overseas at war. During that time I realized what a controlling, covertly manipulative and angry individual he was (before the war), and it only got worse. We stayed together after his return for about six months, enjoying a fabulous European Cruise, good times with friends, and just catching up. But we both realized that we no longer fit well together, mostly because I could no longer tolerate his manipulation, nor could I continue attempting to change the person I was to suit him to no avail. It was killing me trying to give him what he wanted, and it was never enough to say I was sorry for any little thing that upset him. Among the multitude of reasons why I could no longer be with him, I hated that I let someone change me. I can happily say it was the best decision I ever made. And I have learned so much about what I'm willing to compromise, tolerate, and mostly importantly, what I want and expect out of a relationship.
After any major relationship breakup (this is number 2, first was my first high school love/bad boy, I was crushed, but better for it!), I join a dating website. This time I joined Harm, and needless to say the expense and quality of people on there was disastrous. Now this is by no means a rant on the site, but I don't think it was right for me. I'm young and looking for a steady relationship, I'm not ready to pick out curtains and kids names! I felt most of the men I met were desperate and looking for the end result too soon. I had high hopes that others that could afford the site were similar to me- tired of the bar scene, looking for something real yet not too serious. Was I ever wrong! The first man I went on a date with seemed good- decent profile photos, good job, decent email conversation, though slightly older than I like. In person, lets just say I wish I would have had a friend to call with 'something bad happened/pet died/insert lame excuse here'. My unlisted rules to first impressions with me are 1-must shake hands like I'm the President or your prospective boss, not your dying grandmother, 2-absolutely, under no circumstances, do you hug me-- we've never met! NO bubble invading, and 3-(dinner) no ordering before me unless I say its ok. Call me old fashioned. He failed them all. He ignored my invitation for a handshake and went straight for the awkward hug! He had gap teeth (sorry, but I went through hell in braces to get an amazing smile, I would like my partner to have a decent smile to match!! Shallow? Nope, just proud). After ordering himself when the waitress was looking at me, he then spent the next exhausting and teeth-pulling hour talking about himself..."I'm pretty amazing, I have a great job, I make a lot of money, I have a fabulous car..." pretty much just having a date with himself. He had the nerve to ask for a second date. Mr. Cocky.
The second online guy also seemed decent. Owned his own place, great job, and more my age, adorable dog, and great email and phone banter. Upon in tal meeting I did the awkward hug thing (ahh, I know! I was actually excited about this date, let it go!) and the conversation started off a little strange. But after warming up, and a great dinner at Coastal Flats (thanks, M!), we closed the restaurant. He seemed a little too sarcastic for my taste, as in it was hard for a dry-sarcastic person like me to even catch up or tell if he was serious! I chalked it up to being nervous. He then walked me to my car and gave me a CD he burned with some mutually favorite rock songs! A little weird with someone I have only known a few weeks, but still cute. Nice hug goodbye with intentions for a second movie date. But no calls, no emails, nothing. Mr. Sarcastic.
The third guy I met was exactly my type- my age, great job, military (I have a thing for uniforms!), and muscular with sense of humor and sarcasm (and bald, but hot!). We decided our first meeting would be at our apartments housewarming party. It was a blast! We had instant chemistry and I was really excited! So much so with a little liquid courage we had heavy make out sessions for hours, and he ended up staying the night! No No, nothing happened you pervs. But a few awkward texts later we agreed it was a little too much too fast. He made me feel like that slutty girl who gives it up o the first date. I hate those men! My mom lovingly added "Don't rub the bloom off the rose". You went just as far as I did, you're just as guilty, why do I get the label? Jerk. Mr. Jerk.
That's it for now, but trust me this is just a taste of my dating disasters!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Departed
I will only make one mention of this as its still too fresh and painful. My father passed away two weeks ago and the means to his passing is something that will take me years, if ever, to accept, forgive, and move on. I miss him so much. Though not word for word as I lost it for the time being, here was my eulogy that, from what others have told me, was incredibly touching (morbid, whatev, I loved it):
"I did not think I would be doing this so soon. My dad was an amazing, selfless soul. He filled my life with amazing childhood memories. He always made sure there were no monsters under the bed, made sure I had the best birthday parties, and the coolest new toys. He rode Peter Pan till exhaustion and threatened bodily harm to every boy I brought home. He had the same enthusiasm and encouragement for all my life endeavors, from orthodontist, to killer whale trainer, to Special Agent. He always told me how proud he was of me. But I don't think he knows how proud of everything he sacrificed for me. Forever and always I will be his baby, and he will always be my hero."
RIP Daddy.
"I did not think I would be doing this so soon. My dad was an amazing, selfless soul. He filled my life with amazing childhood memories. He always made sure there were no monsters under the bed, made sure I had the best birthday parties, and the coolest new toys. He rode Peter Pan till exhaustion and threatened bodily harm to every boy I brought home. He had the same enthusiasm and encouragement for all my life endeavors, from orthodontist, to killer whale trainer, to Special Agent. He always told me how proud he was of me. But I don't think he knows how proud of everything he sacrificed for me. Forever and always I will be his baby, and he will always be my hero."
RIP Daddy.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Ready for the next go-round
They say the first step is the hardest. So here it is- I'm single. Not that I think its a death sentence. Quite the opposite, really. I enjoy being single. Correction (as a coworker says no one enjoys being single); I enjoy being happy with myself. I answer only to me, I don't have to share my dessert or the covers, and I can confidently go into the bathroom at 3am without a need for flotation devices due to a mans inability to put the seat down (which they can argue that we don't put up the seat when we're done, but that's an argument for another day). After a particularly eye opening breakup a few months back, Ive decided to attempt the blog world for a third time. My first blog was a boring, "about my life" blog, the second was a coping mechanism for the above said relationship while he was on deployment. In this blog, I hope to share all the good, the bad, and they very ugly dating adventures I experience with you all, hopefully shed some light on the dating world today and maybe learn more about myself along the way. Here's to being single!!
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